farewell

30092009 /

the day before summer ended

how to go back to when I once felt the same way

I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love. I felt in myself a superabundance of energy which found no outlet in our quite life.

- Leo Tolstoy,《Family Happiness》, 1859

09

UK life

graduation

reunion

festivals

music cities pilgrimage

exhibition

the summer we had been dreaming of has past

I thought it would changed many things

but apparently nothing really changed so far....

except my uncontrollable decomposing.

still can't find motive/urge to create

(drew while staying in our desolate exhibition;

both started from several random ink pen dots..)

broken

was given a huge folder of pics by my psycho flatmate, and most of the images are broken due to her hardware problem

cool, aren't they?

i eat dead animal sandwich

barely remember that we held a 4 people exhibition before; was amazingly desolate everyday due to the lack of promotion....

Himininn er að hrynja, en stjörnurnar fara þér vel

"Do you still remember when we were little?

We were playing in the park,

And you asked me what happens when you die.

I said you forget everything. everything.

"Even you?" you asked.

Yes, even me.

You did not want to die. Never forget.

The remains of what we used to have were taken away with the softest squeeze.

How did I forget? How."

"A grotesque story. That is, I am a natural coiner of words, a blower of bubbles through one thing and another. And, striking off these observations spontaneously, I elaborate myself; differentiate myself and, listening to the voice that says as I stroll past, “Look! Take note of that!” I conceive myself called upon to provide, some winter’s night, a meaning for all my observations—a line that runs from one to another, a summing up that completes. But soliloquies in back streets soon pall. I need an audience. That is my downfall. That always ruffles the edge of the final statement and prevents it from forming. I cannot seat myself in some sordid eating-house and order the same glass day after day and imbue myself entirely in one fluid—this life. I make my phrase and run off with it to some furnished room where it will be lit by dozens of candles. I need eyes on me to draw out these frills and furbelows.

To be myself (I note) I need the illumination of other people’s eyes, and therefore cannot be entirely sure what is my self. The authentics, like Louis, like Rhoda, exist most completely in solitude. They resent illumination, reduplication. They toss their pictures once painted face downward on the field. On Louis’ words the ice is packed thick. His words issue pressed, condensed, enduring."

- Virginia Wolf,《The Waves》, 1931

Some people never go crazy

what truly horrible lives they must lead

- Charles Bukowski

t4

always alone outside

yet too crowded inside

I have spent all my life making dissociations, dissociations of idea, dissociations of sentiments, and if my work amounts to anything, it is because I have persevered in that method.

– Remy de Gourmont

i don't know the aim of life

grow

What are we gonna do now

We don't have a lot of options

" I think we should grow "

Faster

Don't look back
Faster

Don't look back

t3 [repaired version]

windy

t2

(broke my dip pen for this)

and the eyebrow sucks..

Did I say that I loathe you

Did I say that I love you

(ps.my first dip pen drawing)

beauty

dimness

..quite meaningless drawing..

we used to

dream of changing the world

together

I didn't go to market as usual today

decided at the last minute to stay at home for some urgent works and house hunting..

So when I saw this just now,

I R E A L L Y W A N N A K I L L M Y S E L F......

...this is truly fatal to me... i mean it...

i'm dieing.

Hedy [Heart Broken]

the wound

burn

still

seal

------------- in the studio

can music speak to your soul?

in the nearly ruins small pub

we sat on the wood floor

i haven't been such touched by live music performance for years

(though i've seen quite a lot gigs since i got here)

tonight reminds me of that summer in Taiwan

when i was alone and music was the only companion who talked to me

i was trembling tonight

like i did in that summer

Balmorhea

is a river

so ambient lately

just wanna say I adore this image

//and this record label is my heart

that makes my day

He stayed at home making music for the entire week but still had a bad cold that day(..so where did the virus come from?)

It's rare to see him plays the guitar, not to mention to hear him sings(...at least this is the first time I've heard his voice since I knew him.)

Ólafur Arnalds was born in 1987, Iceland;

he is an angel.

hippie

film

>

Thanks to Placebo

trafalgar square

S O O N

my you

in summer

[for Hedy's project 2]

[test 2]

[for Hedy's project]

[test 1]

If there is nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire.

....

Hey, I'm really on my track towards the place I want to be.

Thank you, people who is already there and make me want to be there.

about melt

I am all about you.

You are all about me.

>

Thanks to Peter Bjorn and John 

tape man

...

What really matters is what you like, 

not what you are like.

《High Fidelity》

..

ok,

I'll be brave.

.

The streets are full of admirable craftsmen,

but so few practical dreamers.

– Man Ray

String

I suddenly realised why Grammatics makes me sentimental.

It's because of the C E L L O.

......stringed music is still my Achilles'heel.

ps.Didn't draw anything recently; still being bogged down with the damn research paper. It's a drawing made in last September.. did some retouching just now, posted for amusing... that's it, cheers.

plant myself on my chair

Twitter is really convenient! I like it.

But!! Just got a shocking news from NME's twitter!

..Klaxons suddenly announced a surprise gig in London! (sounds great, isn't?!! But!!!)

It's on TOMORROW 15Feb !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ooooohhh WHY CAN'T you wait until I finish my paper....(sobbing...)

Aaaaaahhh!! I'm gonna finish this soon!!!

(But not before tomorrow, of course...

......see you next time Klaxons...)

ps.I feel much better now and will definitely kill the paper in the next few days!

And I found a new companion for research paper, at least much brighter/more bracing....ha!

Flica（↓）, really nice ambient music. Thanks!

Ohoh by the way,

this is my new friend as well.

(the only friend who accompanied with me every-single-second these days)

I call him Sam, hahaha.

Music aggravates misery

yet who can quit it anyway?

Feeling depressed recently.

Lack of motive power for research paper....and couldn't go to the free gig tonight ( really nice line-up...my heart was so broken)

Exist still rests on others' watching ( like my whispering here ) ; I didn't break through anything in the end.

Behind the gingerly guarded castle, I am nothing.

And my music really makes me fuck sad!!

spots

I go to this traditional bagel shop quite often since my market is on the same lane.

(I recognized the place immediately with my sharp eyes when I first saw this picture!)

(Ohhh Graham~)

I go to this street often as well since I always buy chains from "MINI DIAMOND(an old&small jewellery shop just next next to SISTER RAY! So it's the 3rd shop from the left)" for my necklaces sold at stall.

--------------conclusion----------------

1.I am a proponent of the 90s, woo hoo!!

2.I visit bagel shop more frequently than jewellry shop,cuz...

I adore Blur more than Oasis hahahaha!